Ramadhan

Salam yall,

ehem.

Assamualaikum and salam sejahtera.

Believe it or not, I'm back after awhile. I've been lacking of ideas and stopped writing ever since I'm in United States, and I'm not surprised if people stopped visiting this site.

Well, how's your Ramadhan so far? A lot of progress? Mine hasn't been that great as I'm only making a slow progress. However, I'm very thankful for having the chance to celebrate Ramadhan this year. Semoga Allah kurniakan rezeki merasai Ramadhan di masa akan datang. InsyaAllah.

So, I'm hereby writing this post with a mission. Lol. Not really. It's just that something has been bothering me these days. Alhamdulillah, I just got back from Malaysia a few weeks ago and came back to United States during the second week of Ramadhan. Missing home, I frequently scrolled through social media on my phone for updates from Malaysia. Well, just to look at what people had for their 'berbuka' and stuff. I know, it's sad. Hahaha.

 So, something caught my attention one day. Well, it's not surprising to see it but I'm still...surprised *insert emoji shrugging*. I can't believe some muslims, particularly, in Malaysia are still begging for non-muslims to 'respect' them during Ramadhan. As in, saying 'Hey, you shouldn't eat in front of us' and (more) dissapointingly, saying 'Hey, you should make way for us in the line (at fast food restaurants) when it's almost Maghrib!'. Really people? Really? 

And as far as I know, that's the only 'respect' they meant.

It's really absurd the more I think of it. It's okay for non-muslims to willingly do that for you. But puh-lease, don't see it as what they should do. Ini tak, when they didn't do as you wished, you pandang macam nak makan orang, making them feel uncomfortable while doing nothing wrong. They're not obligated to fast or not to eat in front of you. Yang wajib puasa tu awak, awak yang patut spread the positive vibes, lagi lagi bulan puasa ni. 

Also, it's crazier to think that we expect the non-muslims to 'respect' us during Ramadhan (especially) when we, ourselves don't even respect the holy month.*

I'm talking about our act and words everyday. Not to mention what deeds we do more in this month compared to any other month? 

Ramadhan is not just about Bazaar Ramadhan.

Sekian, tutup salam.

ps:// I am writing this as a reminder to myself besides sharing my thought. It really came to my mind, if I actually do more this month compared to any other months? Or if they are the same. I am far from perfect and is still working on being a better muslimah. Do pray for me :))

*I realize that this doesn't apply to everyone. But as I said, it's for myself more than pointing to others.

  Teardrops rolled down my cheeks; my short legs dangled from the rusty swing while my feet wanted to touch the ground. 'Won't there be a day we'd be good to each other?', I thought. My heart ached, it had been quite some time since I felt this way. 'This is funny, love feels good and hurtful at the same time,', I closed my eyes,forced a smile and took a deep breath of the crispy air. 'It's gonna be okay,'.

Random thought

Talking bad about other people won't make you any better

Cold heart.

I felt out of place,
I left,
I wished i didn't,
I wished i was less annoyed,
By the crowd and the noises,
By the suffocating environment,
Claustrophobic?
Might be, might not,
Or was I more annoyed,
Being just 'her', unimportant,
Or did i figured out?
I didn't want to be,
Let me be me.

Sometimes

Sometimes we forget those who had been there for us from the start.
Sometimes we don't even realize.
The thought of 'sometimes' make it worrisome.

If someone left you for stupid reasons, know that you didn't lose anything. He/She did. He/She loses someone worth keeping. Meanwhile, you've got rid of the charcoal that could've burn you.

Ketawa itu tanda gembira ke?

Aku cemburu.
Cemburu tengok orang yang banyak menangis.
Menangis kerana tahu diri ini banyak dosa.

Cuba keluar ke dunia yang nyata.
Kita lihat ramai orang bergelak ketawa.
Anak kecil yang tak mengerti apa apa pasti tertanya.
Wah, gembiranya mereka.
Gembira ke?

Eh, Tak Suka!

Kadang kita rasa apa yang kita tak suka, orang lain juga patut tak suka.
Pelik kan?
Ini tak suka, itu tak suka.
Tak suka orang ni, tak suka orang tu.
Awak suka apa sebenarnya?
Suka diri sendiri je ke?

Kalau tak suka, simpan sendiri ya.
Don't spread hatred :)

Motif hidup

Kadang kita rasa kosong
Bukan berlapang dada yang aku maksudkan
Tapi hidup rasa tak ada motif
Itu sebab kita lupa
Motif hidup kita sebagai seorang hamba-Nya.

Pribumi?

And so we had a lunch with the ambassador of Malaysia in USA. Well, there was a little political talk (I just realized that some political issues catches my attention these days). Someone asked a brilliant question to him. Could it be that one day the government stop giving aids to the pribumi? Would it happen? Because it seems as if we had been depending on the government a lot. Because some of us actually take advantages it. Because it also seems as if some of us won't even start to get our ass of our comfort zone and compete with the non-pribumi.

Think about it.
Question.
What would happen if so?
Why should we care?
Who?
When?
Where?
How?

The pretty you

   Just so you know, some girls are very judgemental. Bila nampak gambaq perempuan lain sat lagi mula lah nak kata, 'ish biasa je dia ni,' 'boleh la, cantik lah juga,' 'omergesh cantik gila dia!!!'
  
Being me, I was like, 'cantik kut. weh, kalau dia tak cantik, aku ni apa?'. Nasib baik member, aku cakap dalam hati je lah. Kahkah.
 
Growing up with girls, i used to have very low confidence. Mana tak nya, don't you think people praising your sisters being pretty (not that i really need that praises but little Hanin found it a bit discouraging) are pretty annoying? Haha. Frankly speaking (or writing), i actually do think they're pretty inside and out. I am happy about it too.

   But oh dear, a lot of people think they're not pretty when they are actually pretty. Well, one of the fact is beauty do lies in the eyes of the beholder. So, it's subjective. Besides, i found that confidence makes someone prettier. Ironically, i have to work on that too *wink*.

:))

'The more of you i see, the more i'm glad i'm me'
I just find this line very cool. Keep it up, Yuna.

Politic (Again)

I had once encounter quite an interesting discussion with my peers in my Vanderbilt Vision group ( sort of like a mentor-mentee group). The discussion was vastly on whether or not you agree with some issues. So, it was honestly awkward being the only one who have different perspectives from the others. But hey, it's okay? There were questions like, "Do you agree with LGBTQI?","Do you agree with death sentence?", " Do you agree with underage alcohol consumption?", "Do you agree with homosexual parents taking foster children?". At the end of the discussion, someone said something that sounded like this, " I think it's interesting how gay marriage became a political issue when it's supposed to be a religious issue," and I kinda snorted unintentionally. I was like, "I know righttt" *crying and laughing inside*. I think it's funny and ironic at the same time.

Wallahu'alam.
Lakumdiinikumwaliyadiin.

Government?

I had a little political chat with an american friend yesterday. She said something like, " no one really likes the U.S government," and so i thought, "Nobody really like governments", remembering the issues going on in Malaysia lately. I'm not saying that i hate government and i totally am not blaming government for whatever reason. Na'ah. I just thought that nobody really agrees 100% with what government does. There's always something to argue. There's always better idea to what people oppose. But you know, it's not easy being the government either. But that still doesn't mean that we cannot do anything about it, aite?

Robot solat

There was this one day, my friend showed me a video of a robot doing the prayer movements. She was like, "aww, cutteeee!!" And i just said "yeah, motif?robot solat, manusia tak solat buat apa"

Paris Bombing

I've read tweets showing dissapointment of how the world are more aware of the paris bombing than how palestine and syria had that everyday. What are you guys trying to say? We have prayers, we have Allah, don't tell me that we are just expecting tweets of symphaty? What would that do to us? Don't stop people from being humane. Let humanity blooms within us and one day, it might bloom into hidayah, if Allah wills. Showing hatred would just backfire Islam, wouldn't it? It's okay to grow awareness in people of how muslim countries are attacked as well but just don't stop people from being kind.  I meant no harm, but just trying to show my concern. May Allah gives what is best for us. And if we're being fitnah on whatever reason, insyaAllah we will still stand strong.

My deepest condolences to my sisters and brothers regardless of where you are.

Salam.

Aku terfikir juga, mereka yang bersungguh menentang #prayforparis ni terlupa ke kita juga ada saudara islam di Paris?

Nov 17, Heard of the update, I'm extremely sad. May Allah protect the muslims in Syria. 

Hukum

Mind your words.
Tak sama orang yang tidak taat kepada suruhan Allah dengan orang yang menolak hukum Allah.
Sayang kalau kau meng'hukum' orang sesuka hati.

Penat. Apa Kata Hati?

Sesak, aku tercungap-cungap bernafas dalam kesesakan hidup.
Hidup yang tak pasti pengakhirannya namun perjalanan aku sudah nampak likunya.
Aku lemah, lesu, penat,
Aku tahu semua membawa maksud yang sama tapi aku cuma nak sampaikan yang aku memang penat.
Penat kerana terhimpit dengan tanggungjawab.
Dalam penat itu, aku cuba luangkan sedikit masa untuk mengenal tuhan. Sangat sedikit berbanding masaku untuk dunia tapi fikirku waktu tu asal ada.
Aku capai Al-Quran. Aku baca kalimah suci berserta tafsirnya.
Amalan membaca tafsir ni abah yang ajak amalkan sebab dulu aku selalu minta abah beli novel setiap kali balik dari asrama, setiap kali tu juga abah tanya, 'tafsir dah khatam? Nanti Allah tanya, kenapa buku novel boleh baca, tafsir al-quran tak baca-baca?'
Waktu tu memang pehhh, sentap tapi biasalah anak muda macam kita...ignore....
Jadi, mental dan fizikal yang lemah longlai tadi aku paksa sebab aku percaya kalau kita taat kepada Allah, pasti Allah sayang.
Kalau Allah sayang, pasti Allah bantu.
Pendek kata, aku sedang mencari hikmah.
Aku selak tafsir al-Quran satu persatu.
Level pemahaman aku rendah je la. Yang faham, faham, yang tak faham, jangan buat buat faham.
Yang pasti, effort tu hah. Konon.
Ayat-ayat al-quran memang sangat indah.
Dalam Al-quran terkandung banyak kisah. Kadang aku rasa macam membaca buku cerita.
Waktu tu, aku yang sedih tak keruan boleh tersenyum membacanya tafsiran kalam Allah. Bukan kelakar ke apa, pernah tak hati kau rasa nak melonjak bila dengar berita gembira? Macam itu lah kut. Tanpa sedar, hati aku dah terubat ...
Saat ini baru aku sedar,
Mungkin hati kita yang dah terlalu banyak penyakit kan?
Mungkin aku yang jarang ambil 'ubat' atau 'ubat' aku selama ini yang kurang efficient.
Hm.

Semoga kita istiqamah mengenal Allah. InsyaAllah.

Sayang selalu,
Hanin.
Penat. Tak tipu.

Btw, jawapan kepada tajuk. Hati kata "aku sakit".

Patah Hati

Patah hati.
Kelakar.
Sebab patah hati ini angkara sangkaan orang.

Tak perlu lah fikir banyak, kecuali kalau kita memang buat salah. Usah peduli apa orang sangka, kalau sesuatu itu tak menjatuhkan martabat sesiapa. Asal kita tak menjadi fitnah kepada agama, bangsa dan keluarga. Asal kita buat sesuatu sebab Allah suka.
InsyaAllah.

Semoga Allah bantu kita.

Hidup kita ada kalanya di atas, ada kalanya di bawah.
Bukan sebab Karma kata begitu, sebab memang hakikat.
Jadi,
Kalau kita jatuh tersungkur, bangun sahaja teruskan perjalanan.
Tak perlu pun terus berlari, asalkan kita bangun dan berjalan tanpa henti.

Maut

Sabarlah hati,
Sabarlah diri,
Sedang kita menghitung hari,
Selangkah kita mendekati mati,
Selangkah kita untuk bertemu Ilahi.

Mati itu benar.
Mati itu pasti.