How to Write A Break Up Letter without any tears

example; ( letter from Tipah  to John )

My motive write this letter to give you know something .I want to cut connections us. I saw you play wood three in front of my eyes. So, i break connection to pull my body from this love.. i  have think about this very cook-cook. I know i clapped on hand only. I don't trust you anymore. You are really crocodile land .Idon't want you to play with my liver. I have been crying unti no more eye water. I don't want banana to fruit two time.Safe walk.

-TIPAH-

p/s; okay,this is so hilarious..i can't stop myself  from laughing when i was reading this letter.I can't stand when i read these:

-i want to cut connection us

 =she wants to say break up but ended up with the words as she translated "putus hubungan"

-I saw you play wood three

=how is that?? "main kayu tiga"

-to pull my body from this love

=oh..kay, this is weird.She wanted to say "undur diri dari cinta ini" but she uses the words wrongly

-clapped on hand only

=so,it is a plural for hand..if not its hands..and she is clapping on 'a hand'..I see~

-i don't want you to play-play with my liver

= "saya tak nak awak mempermainkan hati saya lagi" (=.=')

-i don't want banana to fruit two times

="saya tidak mahu pisang berbuah dua kali" translated pepatah melayu..nice~

-Safe walk

="selamat jalan"?? ayya~